Week 2: The Electric Boogaloo

Well today marks the second week of HRT for me.

Aside from what little breast development I have (mostly just soreness, itchiness and, poking through shirts), there are very few things that have changed that I can definitively say are from HRT.

It would be nice if I could just blame everything on hormones. Oh I'm hungry, must be hormonal. Oh I'm not hungry must be hormones. I'm really craving some ranch dressing right now, must be hormones. That movie moment that I would have laughed at a year ago now has me in tears. Must be hormones.

More likely I'm just hungry because I haven't eaten since yesterday. I want ranch dressing because I find it fucking delicious. It may very well be that I'm tearing up because I'm not the emotional cripple I was a year ago.

I tried sprinting up a steep hill the other day. When I was going to the military college and weighed 170 pounds of mostly muscle this would have been no problem, I could do it in my sleep. But nope not now, must be hormones.

Or more realistically I couldn't because I've been a smoker for the last 10 months before starting HRT and I've also been placing myself on a low-protein diet to cut down on muscle growth, and I now weigh about 20 pounds less than I did when I was capable of doing a twelve minute two mile.Sure the testosterone blockers that I've been on for 3 months probably played a significant role in reducing my muscle mass and preventing the growth of new muscle mass, but I really can't know how much.

I guess what I really have to force myself to think about is that changes from HRT are an incredibly gradual process.

Also that under no conditions should I throw out the thoughts that tell me to ask "Is this causation or just correlation".

I'm am truly excited about changes. I've been wanting this explicitly for almost a year, and as a sort of vague, I'm not really a boy, but definitely more of girl for most of my conscious life. No-one is more excited about changes from HRT than me. But I do have to account for reality, and recognize that hormones, while powerful, are not in fact magic, and work slowly according to biological principles.

More updates in the future.