Week Five

So Christmas has just passed, and 2011, as well as winter break from school is rapidly coming to an end, Which means a bunch of friends are coming back to the lovely little college town I live in to drink with me. Oh, and school.

Which is awesome.

Anyways, word vomit from the week.

Starting with fun HRT stuff; Let me preface this with the fact I haven't actually put on any additional weight (although I'm read quite a bit of anecdotal evidence that E usually means weight-gain, so it's probably coming)

I feel like I'm starting to fit into my jeans a bit differently. They're seeming a bit tighter, which means apparently my ass is getting larger. To be completely honest I'm not sure it really is. It's likely just my imagination, but luckily for me, that's why I keep pretty regular body measurements so I'll be able to say whether or not it really is in two weeks or so.

My abs are also no-longer is the 6-pack it once was. It's quite a bit more fleshy. I mean I don't have a gut or anything but it's just sort of a bit more flat. I'm not sure if that's from fat beginning to redistribute itself, not actually having worked out for almost 9 months, or me gaining fat and at the same time losing muscle, keeping my weight the same. Most likely a combination of all three. I mean I definately still have a dudely looking stomach, but it's an interesting change.

My chest is also starting to appear to be shaped a bit differently. It's hard to put into words. It still hurts like hell, but that's definitely getting a little more fleshy too. Which, not going to lie, I'm super-stoked about. Who doesn't like boobs? But I don't think I qualify to have anything placed into a cup-size.

Emotions are really just continued craziness. Everything is so much more extremely intense than it was before, but in a really awesome way. I mean I really can't complain. Even being sad is better than pre-hrt.

I'm getting weirdly really super-excited about small things. Like something cool happening on a show, or getting a heart container playing zelda has me jumping around my room with happiness.  Which is really cool. Happiness is always a plus.

And (family, look away) my sex drive seems to be returning. Might get a bit TMI here, but after getting on testosterone blockers you realize how much that chemical really just makes you want to HUMP EVERYTHING. And that feeling pretty much just disappears after you're on T-blockers. I mean don't get me wrong, I still got aroused, but it took a lot more to get me there, and didn't just sort of happen randomly, while I was making eggs or something. Since starting estrogen, my sex drive seems to be slowly returning but arousal is definately a different sort of feeling. It's difficult to put into words, and I could probably write a whole post about it, but it's much more of a whole body sort of feeling rather than concentrated wholly in the pelvic region. Which is pretty awesome.

ANYWAY, switching gears slighty.

I've  made a new record for bursting into tears at the most innocent thing: Sitting at my computer and this song coming on.

(Although to be fair, it's an absolutely beautiful song by a terrific band)

So yeah emotions. Crazy shit.

Christmas with my family went pretty awesomely if I do say so myself. I mean my family doesn't use my preferred name or pronouns or anything, but the highlight of my Christmas (aside from seeing my little brothers unwrap there presents, and then me subsequently stealing all their toys and playing with them) was seeing my name on Christmas gifts from my wonderful sisters, and even on about half my gifts from my parents, which was pretty huge for me, and really meant a lot.

It was also really terrific to see my lovely oldest sister, Taylor, and her wonderful husband, Dom, which doesn't happen enough, since he's in the army and they live together way down in the far away land of North Carolina.

After Christmas didn't go so well though. I had a bit of a falling out with my mother, which sucks. But I'm pretty confident it won't last too long. I know she cares a lot for me, but for the time being, I guess we're not really talking, which is pretty saddening. I wish they didn't, I suppose these things happen.

I am incredibly excited for New years though. Friends are coming back, school is starting back up, all sorts of fun shit. And the beautiful girl I'm talking to is finally coming back. Sempur stoked.

I'll probably do an actual New Years post, hopefully before midnight tomorrow, but if not then probably on New years day, because there definitely is some stuff I'd like to get into writing about 2011 and the new year, but this post seems to be plenty long enough as is. I'll try to get an awful drunken photo of myself to post on the internet tomorrow.

Toodles